The Scared Life of Trunks
by Xeallia
Summary: THIS IS NOT A NEW FIC!!! I simply put the two Chapters together! But f you havn't read it: The tittle is Self-explanitory. Bulma and Vegeta: Love, Lust, Rage, AND THE HOTTIE CHILD BETWEEN!!!!! I find it funny and so fave alot of other peeps! R &R!
1. The Birth of Trunks

The Birth of Trunks

The Birth of Trunks

A child-heavy Bulma came tottering out of the bedroom whimpering in pain (Ryoko: Washu, this one is for you. To all my readers, the original wording was "Whimpering like a tortured cat" but Washu didn't like it, so I changed it. Washu: "EEEERRRRWWWOOooowww" is what a tortured cat makes me think of, thank you very much! ) Still whimpering she called to her newly-wed husband, "Um, Vegeta, we need to go... NOW"

"You will not tell me what to do, Woman. I'm not taking you anywhere!"

"FINE! I'll just sit on your lap and crap this damn kid out on your jeans!"

"WHAT!? You're going to give birth? Now? But my team is winning"

"No, I thought I would go visit the toothfairy's; see if I can get a contract for 10 bucks a tooth," She howled with pain as the muscles in her abdomen clenched in a contraction, "YES I'M GOING TO GIVE BIRTH NOW!! AND I DON'T CARE IF YOUR TEAM IS BREAKING THE RECORD FOR ADIENCE CAPTIVATION! YOU ARE TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL, NOW!!"

Vegeta started at his wife as her face contorted in pain. In a moment they were flying high above the ground and in the next moment Vegeta was screaming at the top of his lungs for the damn doctor to get out there and deliver his child. A frantic nurse ran out to tell him that they couldn't deliver the child in the parking lot. "Why the hell not?"

A screaming Bulma answered for the abused-looking nurse, "Because if you don't get me in that building so that I can have some freaking morphine I'm going to take away your means of giving me another child!" The man gulped, hard.

Six hours later Bulma was screaming louder than was humanly possible with the pain of childbirth. Vegeta tried to help, "Breathe, Bulma. Push, now breath."

"SHUT-UP, VEGGIETABLE! HEY, EVER HEAR OF A CONDOM?!?!?!?"

"Push, Bulma. You need to push."

"YOU NEED TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! STORE IT SOMEWHERE NEAR YOUR HEAD! OH, GODDESS! WHY DID I EVER LET YOU NEAR ME THAT NIGHT?!?!?!"

A wary nurse carefully approached Vegeta, for he was sweating and grinding his teeth in an effort not knock his wife out while giving birth. "Um, sir? You seem to be causing her more distress than the child; it's the doctor's request that you leave."

"Shut the fuck up, lady!" Bulma and Vegeta both told the offend nurse.

Two hours later the doctor places a clean baby Trunks into Bulma's arms.

"WHAT!?" Vegeta cried at his first sight of his son, "Cut that off!"

"EXCUSE ME!?!?!" Bulma shrieked, shielding her son for his father's stare.

"Relax, Woman, I'm talking about that pink little tuff of hair on his forehead." 

"Shut-up, Veggie, and take comfort in the fact that he doesn't look like you."

Vegeta growled at the woman as she grinned slyly.

"Say," She ventured with a devious tone in her voice, "I've carried this little treasure in a swollen belly-bed for nine months now… I think it's your turn." She plopped baby Trunks into Vegetas' barely ready arms and the baby wailed furiously. Vegeta made a face at Bulma as she sighed and rolled onto her side and commented reproachfully, "He has his mother's lungs."


	2. Trunks' Childhood

Childhood of Trunks

Childhood of Trunks

"VEGETA!" Bulma cried from the kitchen, her voice promising blood, "Get in here and bring me some floor from the pantry!"

"DO I look like your fucking serving maid, Woman!?" He returned with a vengeance, "Get the kid to help, that's why we had him!"

"No, WE HAD HIM BECAUSE YOU'RE A LITTLE PERVERT WHO CAN'T KEEP H9IS HANDS TO HIMSELF NOW GET IN HERE!!!!!!!!!"

Just then Trunks walked into the room, his overgrown hair acting as a curtain for his eyes. "Dad, stop, you're embarrassing me."

"I EMBARRASSING you!? If you want me to embarrass you I'll show those breast-feeding pictures to all your little girlfriends at school! Now go help your mother!"

Trunks gave up, sighed, and did as he was told. 

"I really wish you and dad wouldn't discuss the how and WHY I was born every day of my life," He told his mother without preamble. Bulma just blinked at him before she broke into a frantic, hysterical, series of nervous hooting and tense gurgling noises.

"Gee, um, Trunks, we never did have that talk did we? Um, um, er, erm…………. Go ask your father!"

"MOM! I know all about men and woman!

"Well, Dearie, there is more to it than that."

"I know about sex too!"

Bulma cuffed him upside the head, a odd habit she had picked up from Vegeta, and nearly screamed at him, "BE TACTFUL ABOUT IT!!!!"

"Mom! I spent my life in the same house as DAD!"

She had no reply, for at that moment Vegeta swaggered in with a baseball hat pulled over his hair and her attention was on saying to him, "Did you know you look like a little penis with a hat on?"

He went beet red, glowered and charged at her. She ran around the table but he was on her in a minute, his mouth on hers in a breathtaking kiss. Trunks just rolled his eyes and exited muttering, "Yep, I'm getting a sister"


End file.
